Friday, September 10, 2010

Debaser (Kids Part 3)

Debaser (Kids Part 3)
Debaser: (Noun) A person who lowers the quality or character or value.
Synonym: Degrader
“By re-entering Jeremy’s brain, Cecil became the debaser of the relationship between him and Alicia.”

     How did we get here? I thought Hell on earth was the mental hospital, but this party couldn’t have been worse. We both had a bit to drink, she took my hand, and she led me up the stairs in the house I remember so well.
     I should have stopped her. I could have stopped her. I had lost the control. Maybe it was the booze… We made our way up the stairs; we both had plastic cups in our hands, filled with alcohol. We went to the first door on the left, but it turned out to be a bathroom, which was occupied, that was awkward. It wasn’t too late to grab her and pull her back downstairs. We opened another door and found a guest room; condoms were on the bedside table. We both sat at the edge of the bed, and began to kiss. She fell backwards, and I fell with her.
     She put me on top of her on a bed that wasn’t hers or mine. She looked like a wreck, her hair was crazy and she was gasping for breath, like she wanted this from me for quite a while. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. She was obviously scared and nervous.
     “Are you sure you want to do this? I thought we talked about holding back until we were older…” She said. Alicia had a few drinks, she wouldn’t remember her first time, she wouldn’t me remember me saying,
     “If you love me, you would do this with me.”


     About a week before this event, I was in Hell. Hell wasn’t filled with fire, there was no man with a pitchfork, but people were indeed being tortured. Shots, sedations, shock treatments… The mental hospital was just one step down from eternal damnation.
     For four years, they put me in here, because Cecil wouldn’t go away. I got to go outside for a maximum of two hours a day. There were no other little kids. I asked an old man to play basketball with me once, and he stared at me with a horrified face. I didn’t like that man; he even attacked me once, but that’s a different story for a different time.
     Of course I had tutoring. I mean, four years in Hell with no education, could you imagine? I had tutoring five days a week, about three hours at a time. When I was supposed to be in the sixth grade, even with my horrible reading level, I managed to read “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy in under a week. I knew a lot of algebra by the time I should’ve been in seventh grade.
     In eighth grade, or when I was supposed to be in eighth grade, I was attacked by the old man. As I said before, different story for a different time.
     When I should’ve been a high school freshman, I had visited my parents in the Visiting Room at least fifty times since I first got there. They were short, unmonitored visits, about twenty minutes at a time. I’m sure my parents weren’t happy for quite some time. I’m sure they loved having a crazy son.
     Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad.
     Three things happened throughout my four years in Hell. One, Cecil liked to visit me, up until the summer after my sophomore year. One time, he looked at me and MADE me pick up the TV remote and switch to something he wanted to watch. His spirit was only kind before I had found out that he really did die in the accident. If he had gone away earlier, I would have gotten out earlier. That son of a bitch got whatever he wanted, even when I took my medication every day.
     Oh my God, the medication. I had a pill the size of two thumbtacks put together every morning. For the first month I was there, they cut the pill in half; since I nearly choked the first time I tried to swallow it. I didn’t need the medication; I didn’t know what it was for. It sure as hell didn’t make Cecil disappear for the first three and a half years. I couldn’t just not take it; they watched you swallow the damn thing! I had to open my mouth afterwards so the nurses could make sure I actually swallowed the pills. I called them the Medication Nazis.
     The second thing that happened throughout the years was the counseling. Every week, I got to talk to a therapist. It was always fun when he asked me about my week. It was like he expected me to say something new. I watched TV, I was tutored, I watched paint dry, and I went outside. That was my weekly routine. But he always asked how Cecil was. That always pissed me off, because I could’ve easily forgotten about Cecil, had the therapist stopped bringing him up.
     The third thing was that I received letters from Alicia every two weeks. Not that they kept me sane, but they were something to look forward to. I probably would’ve found a way to end my life, had I not known that someone beautiful out there was saving herself for me, waiting for me to get out of Hell. Yeah, as I continued to think about her, my lust grew stronger. The funny thing was, I never had any corruption from the television or the internet, and therefore, I didn’t learn how to masturbate until right before I got out. But that’s a different story for a different time.
     I saved every single letter from Alicia I had ever gotten. As I said, she sent them every two weeks, since my arrival at Hell. She always had something sweet to say. If I was lucky, she would send me pictures or poetry. I always loved the poetry more than anything else.
     One day, in July, I was reading my last letter from Alicia.

“    Dear Jeremy,
     Today, I had absolutely nothing to do, so I sat around thinking of our childhood. I wrote about it in my journal, I named the entry “Imaginary”, to remind us of our old imaginary friends, Sally and Oliver.
     The memory that I have been thinking about most was when I dressed you and Cecil up as cute little girls while you were blindfolded. The hilarious picture remains on my wall. So, I turned sixteen a while back if you remembered, and I just got my license, meaning I will visit you within the next couple of days.
     I know my Mom still LOVES you like a son, but she doesn’t want me visiting there. She specifically said that it is nothing against you, but she doesn’t want me around the people that are actually crazy. I’ll visit you without her knowing, we just have to keep it a secret between you and me.
     Anyways, I miss you like none other. I know I write it in all my letters, but I really do miss you. I’m still as in love with you as I was when I had told you after my father passed. (I wrote about that in “Imaginary”, too.)
Forever Yours,
Alicia Beatrice.”

     Alicia didn’t have the best handwriting. She typed most of her letters, not that I had a problem with that. Thank God computers have spell check.
     After I was finished with the letter, the intercom called me down into the Visitor’s Room. Today was a Friday, because I had to talk to the therapist later on. I assumed my parents were there to see me once again. I walked down the white walled hallway, with the white ceiling and the white floor tiles, passing the windowsills with white curtains. I was taken into the Visitor’s Room by a security guard, and he sat me down.
     A teenage girl was brought into the room. She had long, straight and beautiful blonde hair. She wore tight jeans and boots, with a blue T-Shirt that had Reptar the Dinosaur from “Rugrats” on it. She was hot, she had style, and she was mine.
     “Hello, Alicia.” I said. She nearly screamed when she saw me, she was so happy. Alicia ran all the way over to my side of the table to hug me and kiss my cheek.
     We talked small for the majority of the time. The most important thing we discussed was about Cecil, whether I still see him or not. I told her the truth, that I hadn’t seen him in weeks, and that he was fading. She was happy to hear that.
     The security guard said visiting time was over; neither Alicia nor I wanted to leave.
     “I’m getting out soon, hopefully.” I told her.
     “I’m sorry about everything, Jeremy. I miss you so much, I still love you. I haven’t dated a single boy; I’m still waiting for you.” Alicia said.
     “And I still love you too. I’m getting out very soon, and we’ll be together like old times.”
     “I can wait, I love you.”
     “I love you too.”
     “I will wait,” She said. “I promise you.” Alicia got up and left, blowing a kiss on her way out. I got up, and headed down the white hallway to my therapist’s office.
     He waited for me there; he was sitting in his office chair. He had a smile on his face, which wasn’t usual.
     “Welcome, Jeremy. How has your day been so far?” He asked.
     “Good. Alicia visited me.” I said back.
     “That’s the girl you’re in love with, right?”
     “Yes, sir.”
     “Don’t call me sir, you make me feel old!” He laughed.
     “Sorry, John.”
     “Jeremy, I talked to the big guys of this so-called Hell, and we really see no reason for you to be here anymore. Cecil is gone, just like you told me. You may leave in three days.” He told me. I literally jumped for joy. What the therapist didn’t tell me was that I still had to take my watermelon of a pill every day.
     While I was there, the therapist told me that I was allowed to call my parents to tell them the good news. When I got ahold of my Mom, she was so happy. After I hung up, John looked at me, and said, “Call her.”
     I picked up the phone and dialed Alicia’s number. I had it memorized in my since the fourth grade. The last four numbers weren’t hard to remember, because my birthday was August 3rd, 1992. Her last four numbers were 8392, just like my birthday. When Alicia answered, she was so excited. She told be she’d be there waiting when I got out.

     And she was there, just as she promised. Alicia stood there waiting for me, along with my parents. They had all driven to see me together. I walked down the first ten steps, Alicia ran up the other ten. Just like with everything else, she met me halfway. Alicia gave me a big hug and kissed me for the first time in what seemed like forever.
     We both walked down the steps hand in hand, and I greeted my parents. They were happy, and as always, my Mom was crying. The three of us poked fun at her.
     The four of us got into the car, and we headed home.


When I got home, nothing looked different. My living room was still giant; the same paintings remained on the same walls. My room remained untouched; dirty laundry remained in the same corners of my room. Whenever Alicia and my parents walked out, I reached under my mattress, and the Playboy magazines were still there… That’s a different story for a different time.
Alicia stayed with us all day. We just sat around all day, watching TV, like we used to. My Mom made me my first decent lunch in four years, and I shared it with Alicia. No one could make the mean grilled cheese sandwich that my Mom could. Alicia started off holding my hand with her head on my shoulder, and then she lay down and rested her head on my lap.
It’s amazing how I went from Hell to Heaven so fast.
When night time came around and the sun had left us, we still sat in the same place, only getting up to use the restroom. My parents came into the living room at around six to sit around together and watch with us. My Mom mimicked Alicia, and rested her head on my Dad’s lap. We ate pizza for dinner, and Alicia’s Mom called shortly after, telling her to start heading home.
     “Can Jeremy spend the night, Mom?” My parents both looked over with crazy looks on their faces. Alicia continued to convince her Mom, as if my parents weren’t sitting right there. “I mean, of course he’d sleep in the living room, I just want as much time with him as possible.”
     My parents looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. My Mom said, “Why not? I trust him.”
     Alicia said into the phone, “AWESOME! Thanks Mom, see you soon!” and she hung up. She looked at me and said, “Pack up your backpack, mister. Let’s go. You have to go school shopping with us tomorrow morning, though.”
     Laughing, I ask, “Do I have a choice?”
     She laughs back. She doesn’t say anything.
     Without saying a word, I looked over to my parents, they both nodded, and Alicia took my hand. She led me upstairs to my room. Fortunately, I had clothes that were too big for me as a sixth grader, and they fit me almost perfectly now. While I was packing my backpack, Alicia went into my closet and grabbed an old jacket of mine. She left the room to go the bathroom, and came back with my toothbrush.
     I told her to wait in my room; I said I had to use the bathroom. I went in, and took a pill from the container. I looked in myself in the mirror, and frowned. I couldn’t watch myself taking this medication; I was ashamed. I headed back out.
     Alicia grabbed my backpack, and we headed out the door after waving good bye to my parents. The walk there took about ten minutes. Five minutes in, Alicia jumped on my shoulders and I gave her a piggy-back ride the rest of the walk. The moon was full; there were no clouds, only billions of stars.
     I knew Alicia was sensitive about her weight, but she was extremely skinny. There was no reason for her to be sensitive about anything; she was perfect.
     We arrived at her door and kissed. When we went in, Alicia’s Mom screamed and hugged me, just like her daughter did. It was funny to see her that excited. We did nothing at her house but sit and watch TV, not that I had a problem with that.
     As Alicia and I lay around, her Mom continued to ask me about my experience in Hell. I said, “Ma’am, I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t like to think about it very much. We can discuss it later; it’s a different story for a different time.” She understood, and headed up to bed, along with Alicia. Alicia had fallen asleep on my lap.
     Alicia brought me two blankets, and a pillow. She kissed my forehead and said, “Don’t be afraid to sneak into my room.” She smiled and ran upstairs. I stayed up watching cartoons until around two, and I dozed off.
     I woke up in Alicia’s bed, and the clock by her bed said 2:15, so I must have sleepwalked into her bed. When I looked over at her, she was facing away from me, probably because she didn’t know I was there. I wrapped my arm around her, and she woke up. She turned around and looked at me.
     Alicia kissed my nose, and I kissed her lips. It progressed into heavier kissing, some leg grabbing, but we both pulled back at the same time. How convenient. We both agreed that sex wasn’t right, we were both still sixteen.
     That night, we held each other as close as possible. Alicia set the alarm on her clock to 5:00, so I could get back to the guest room before her Mom found out that we were sleeping together.


     One day, when I was supposed to be a freshman in high school, I sat around and watched TV in Hell. Since no one was watching with me, I was allowed to grab the remote and flip through the channels. I passed Nickelodeon, and SpongeBob was playing.
     “Go back to SpongeBob.” A familiar voice said. Cecil was sitting on the floor beside me. An old man rolled up in his wheelchair on my right side, opposite from Cecil. He was THE old man. I chose to ignore Cecil so I didn’t look weird.
     “Jeremy, you aren’t listening to me.”
     “…Shut up, Cecil.” I said. I couldn’t help it.
     “I want to watch SpongeBob.”
     “No. Go away.” The old man was staring at me at this point, as well as Cecil. Cecil was giving me a blank stare, and my left arm started shaking. I didn’t have control. I grabbed the remote on my lap, and switched down the channels back to SpongeBob.
     The old man stared at me doing this, trying to gain control of my left arm. “You…You have the devil inside of you!” The old man got out of his chair and threw himself at me. He reached for my throat, and I fell backwards on my chair. He fell with me, so at that point he was on top of me. He continued to choke me, until a guard yanked him off.
     I looked over, gasping for air. Two guards held the old man down, and a nurse came over to inject something into his neck, making him fall asleep.
     Cecil stood up, laughing and pointing at the old man. He walked over closer to point, and the old man screamed. Did the old man see him…?
    
     The alarm replaced the old man’s scream, and I got up to head back to where I was originally sleeping. I tucked Alicia in, kissed her forehead, and headed back to the living room. The sun rose, it was beautiful. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
     I woke up because Alicia sat beside me while I was lying down, with a cup of tea. “You slept in, darling! I showered, had breakfast, AND made you tea! It’s 11:00!” Alicia giggled.
     “Sorry, I had a bit of a restless night.” I said.
     “Well get up, slacker. We have some school shopping to do!” She told me. I grabbed the tea and drank the entire thing. Just to mess with her, I tickled her sides. When she ran from me, I got up. Alicia’s Mom came into the living room. “Are you two ready?” We both stood from the couch, and the three of us headed out the door.

     In the car, Alicia told me all about the high school.
“Since Cecil passed away, and you went to Hell, I haven’t really had any close friends. I haven’t exactly tried; I focus more on my schoolwork than anything else. I’m okay with it, too.” She told me.
“How did people do after you were suspended from school?” I asked.
“People heard about the whole story, and I have been called Sally ever since. I don’t know if it was to tease me, but the name stuck.” She told me. I wasn’t sure what to think of that, I would probably never call her Sally.

The car stopped, and we headed inside the store. Alicia and I were inseparable, and I loved it. Although there were small problems between her and I, I let everything surpass my head, she was perfect in my mind.
We grabbed a cart, and headed to the back of the store.
Pencils, check.
     Pens, check.
     Paper, check.
     Markers, check.
     Binders, check.
     Happiness, check.
To mess with Alicia’s Mom, we made her reach for something high up, and we ran. We went all the way to the pet food isle, and I pushed her against the shelf and kissed her. A familiar face walked up to us.
“…Jeremy?”
“Reginald!”
“It IS you, man! How have you been?!”
Reginald was a geek, but he was the most popular geek you have ever met. He, since the fifth grade, had an ongoing business selling pirated movies to all the popular kids. Alicia told me in a couple of her letters that he was the life of the party.
The way Alicia looked at Reggie kicked in jealousy, and that made me unhappy. Alicia also mentioned in her letters how Reggie bought her flowers, and how he has asked her out multiple times. Oh man… If Cecil were still here, he would be sorry.
“Well, if you and Sally want…”
“Her name is Alicia.” I snapped at him. Alicia looked at me weird.
“Sorry. If you and Alicia want, I’m having a little get together. It starts tonight at eight. I’ll send the directions to Alicia through text. You two should come!” Reggie said. Alicia looked at me with her hazel eyes with a look that said, “CAN WE, CAN WE, CAN WE?!?”
I looked at him. “Sure, we’ll go.”
“Cool! See you two later!” Reg/Reggie/Reginald said.
I grabbed Alicia’s hand, and we headed back to her Mom, who was conveniently done with her school shopping for us. We walked to the check out, and we both snuck some candy into the shopping cart. We were still little kids at heart, I loved it.
We got home, watched TV, and picked our outfits out for the party… That was our day. Oh, oh, and we ate lunch. I felt much more productive laying there with Alicia than I did just laying at home by myself.
Fortunately for us, Reggie lived close to us, according to Alicia. She said she would show me where it is. I got the okay from my parents to go to Alicia’s house again that night, and she asked her Mom to stay at my house. We were in the clear, and we were going to sleep by the playground we always used to play at after the party.
Around seven at night, we ate our dinner. Alicia packed her bag with blankets and a single pillow for us to share. As soon as we went outside, she jumped on my back, and we walked. She guided me to my street, and I told her I needed to grab something from my house, when really, I had to take my pill.
I ran in past my parents, admitting that I forgot to take my medication. I made sure Alicia didn’t hear me when I said that, and I ran upstairs into my bathroom. I took a single pill from my container, and before I took the pill, I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror.
“Look at yourself, Jeremy.” The voice in my head said.”No one else has to take pills. You’re a psychopath; you put Alicia in danger by having to take these. I dare you to take just one night off of your meds.” I looked at the pill and put it back in the container. I ran back down the stairs, and Alicia led me down my street, on my back of course.
“Lucky for us, the house is only a few down from yours!” She said.
“Oh, cool. What’s the house number?” I asked.
     “Hmm… 6130.”
No. Please, God. No.
Cars lined up and down the street, and the most lighted house was the house I told myself I would never visit again. The party was at Cecil’s old house. Where had his Mom moved? Reggie and his parents must have taken the house right after she moved out. Did she kill herself? Where did she go…?
Alicia got off of my shoulders and we walked onto the yard I always played on as a boy. I remember playing on the yard in the snow. Cecil and I had built a snow fort, when his Dad came outside to present us with three tickets to Universal Studios. Now, it was just a mess with a pile of red cups. Disgusting.
Alicia and I had the decency to ring the doorbell, but these two teenagers walked right in between us. We followed them inside the house. We expected to hear big-beat techno, or rap. But no, Reggie had “Debaser” by the Pixies on.
Reggie saw us from the living room, and he got up off the couch and ran to us. He took a pit stop into the kitchen where I ate numerous lunches on the weekends as a child. He grabbed two red cups and brought them to us.
“Hey guys, glad you could make it.” He said.
     “We don’t want to stay too long. We’re going to sleep by the playground.” Alicia took the words right out of my mouth.
     “That’s cool.” Reggie said.
     “OH MY GOD! Is that Jeremy?!” A voice said.
     “It is!” A second voice said. Reggie looked at me and laughed. Everyone seemed to remember me, although I didn’t remember half of them. There were at least sixty people in this house. So much for a little “get-together”.
“Well,” Reggie said. “There’s food in the kitchen if you would like. Have fun! Later!” He left us before we could ask what kind of food he had. Alicia looked at her plastic cup of alcohol and took a sip. “The beer isn’t bad…” She said. I took a drink, and the taste was strong; I had never had alcohol before.
We walked into the living room and watched other kids our age play video games. Since I last saw video games, they progressed extremely. I got a headache just looking at the television screen.
The music switched to a big-beat techno song, just like I assumed it would. Alicia got up and grabbed my hand, trying to pull me up. “Come on, let’s dance!”
     “Can we just rest a while longer?” I asked.
     “Uhhh… NO! We’ve rested the past two days together.”
     “But, I don’t know how to dance.”
     “Fine, party pooper. Can we at least go get a drink from the kitchen?”
I sighed, and got up. Alicia took my hand and told me that I was too tense, and that I needed to lighten up. I didn’t say anything back; she sort of made me angry by saying that. We made our way into the kitchen. I looked around in the kitchen.
We ran around here.
We played hide n’ seek around here.
We colored in here.
I looked in the cabinets. We used to get cereal from the ones beside the oven in the mornings. I used to get hot chocolate from the cabinet above the oven, too.
I looked over at the pantry. That was the treasure chest of snacks. That’s where He had always hid when we played hide n’ seek.
“Jeremy, are you okay?” Alicia asked. I didn’t answer her; I walked over to the pantry. I pulled down the door handle, opened it, and…
     There he was.
“You found me, Jeremy!” Cecil said, happily.
I backed away from him.
“Now you’ve got thirty seconds to hide!”  He laughed. I closed the pantry and Alicia asked me again if I was okay. Of course I said yes, of course I didn’t tell her that I was seeing my dead best friend again. Alicia put her cup up to my mouth and said, “Drink up!” She laughed too.
Alicia and I stood there and drank two more beers. Reginald found us, and invited us to the living room for some drinking games. I didn’t want to, but Alicia did. She took my hand and led me to the living room, and we sat on the loveseat couch together.
Alicia was chosen to pick the first game. She chose “Never Have I Ever…” The game consisted of someone saying, “Never have I ever…” followed by either a confession or a lie. If anyone thinks the player is lying, they drink up.
Reginald was surrounded by three girls, wearing low-cut shirts and short skirts.
Skank #1 says, “Never have I ever fooled around with Reggie.”
Alicia drinks. All the girls are giggling.
Skank #2 says, “Never have I ever hooked up with Reggie.”
Alicia drinks.
Skank #3 says, “Never have I ever had a thing with Reggie.”
Alicia drinks up.
Reginald looks up at me and winks. I can’t believe it. I wanted to kill him. If Cecil were around, he’d be sorry. But that’s a different story for a different time.
The last full minute I remember was when I saw Cecil. I looked out the front windows, and Cecil was standing there on the porch staring at me. He blew on the windows to make them fog, and he drew a smiley face on it. He walked over to the front door, walked inside, and approached me. His spirit didn’t want me at his house, drinking booze. I should have taken my medication. Cecil and looks at me and says,
“Hey, nice catch, brother. She’s hot.”
He takes both of his hands to cover my eyes, and that was when I lost control to him.

How did we get here? I thought Hell on earth was the mental hospital, but this party couldn’t have been worse. We both had a bit to drink, she took my hand, and she led me up the stairs in the house I remember so well.
     I should have stopped her. I could have stopped her. I had lost control. Maybe it was the booze… We made our way up the stairs; we both had plastic cups in our hands, filled with alcohol. We went to the first door on the left, but it turned out to be a bathroom, which was occupied, that was awkward. It wasn’t too late to grab her and pull her back downstairs. We opened another door and found a guest room; condoms were on the bedside table. We both sat at the edge of the bed, and began to kiss. She fell backwards, and I fell with her.
     She put me on top of her on a bed that wasn’t hers or mine. She looked like a wreck, her hair was crazy and she was gasping for breath, like she wanted this from me for quite a while. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. She was obviously scared and nervous.
     “Are you sure you want to do this? I thought we talked about holding back until we were older…” She said. Alicia had a few drinks, she wouldn’t remember her first time, she wouldn’t me remember me saying,
     “If you love me, you would do this with me.”
     Cecil did this, Cecil did her. Not me.
     Cecil obviously was far from gone.

2 comments:

Caroline Amnesty said...

wow fascinating

Anti1337 said...

excellent read, i love the way you developed alicias feelings and emotions throughout the story!