Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Lucidity.

Lucidity by Wolfgang Kaiser


             It starts with a dream.
            A subtle dream, one Lucas was not expecting.
            He walks up to a stage, there is no light except for a spotlight on a single stool. Everything else was entirely pitch black. On the stool sat an acoustic-electric guitar, that was hooked up to an amplifier that was somewhere in the dark, or was there more than one?
            Lucas walks towards the guitar and the simulations of people begin to cheer for him. It’s such a huge crowd in his dream; he has to cover his ears. The crowd quiets down; he reaches in his pockets for ear plugs and inserts them. He waves into the black, and the flashes of cameras begin to wave back.
            This makes him smile.
           
In his room, his radio is quietly playing soft songs. He turned it on around 9:00 at night to help him sleep. The song playing only has ten seconds left.
           
Lucas stops waving and grabs the guitar. As soon as he finds his chord and is ready to strum, two flashes of light arrive from behind him, revealing his band. Before he turns around, the crowd roars. He turns. On the drums, Skyler Langley. He was Lucas’ best friend; his partner in crime since the third grade. On the piano… Wait. An unfamiliar face. Lucas doesn’t know who this girl is.
            That was where he began to realize he was dreaming.
           
His radio switches to the final song, “Liar Liar” by NeverShoutNever. This changes his dream a bit.
            Lucas didn’t know this, but the first step to changing dreams is knowing you’re asleep. Lucas started strumming that guitar and he played right through the notes that were playing in reality. “Liar Liar” was the song he listened to to cope with his disastrous break up that happened just a year ago with Caprice.
“You’ve got it all down, got it all down into a science; breaking hearts is what you do for fun…”
            The spotlight leaves Lucas and focuses on a single girl in the audience. There she was, the life-ruiner. Caprice. Everybody, Lucas feels, is staring at her. Because of the song he’s playing, he’s showing the world just how big of a bitch she is. He grits his teeth.
“Yeah I’m moving on, but that’s the way it goes when you break my heart, everybody knows, don’t pull that shit again.”
            The simulation of Caprice begins to tear up, and stands up. She runs through all the people here to leave. Everyone is pointing, and everyone is laughing. She just continues to run. Lucas is getting what he wanted, he laughs while he continues to sing. A single drop of rain lands on his shoulder. Lucas looks up, and clouds begin to form above him and everyone in the audience.
            The cheering stops.
            The song stops.
            Lucas looks to his left; a tree stands tall on the stage forming over his head. What was going on? He looks down under the tree, past all the branches and leaves, and there was a kid sitting under it with his face covered by his knees. Something isn’t right.
           
His alarm clock goes off.




            Lucas remembered the dream entirely that next morning, and before he got ready or the day, he reached under his bed. He passed the porn magazines, past the bags of chips and candy wrappers… He got hold of his dream journal and pulled it out. He got to the first unwritten page, which was on the right page.
            It’s been a year since he dreamt at all, which was hard on him. Lucas used to always dream, but thanks to Caprice, that all stopped. Caprice was the exact opposite of Lucas’ ideal girl, but there was something about her that made him keep coming back.
            Lucas met Caprice his senior year of high school. He was new to Denver at that time, his parents had to move for work. Lucas always hated them for that, making him move from his friends before graduating high school (In fact, it was one of the many reasons he decided to move out after graduation).
            Lucas was missing Portland, Oregon so much. That’s where he grew up, that’s where all his memories were. During the first day of senior year, Lucas kept asking his teachers if he could ‘use the bathroom’, where instead he called his friend Skyler. Portland schools started later in the year than Denver’s did, so he wasn’t interrupting anything school-related for Skyler.
            Of course Lucas was homesick. He sat at a lunch table in the lunch room and finished the conversation, making sure Skyler knew just how much he missed him. If ever someone said he had a man-crush, he was highly offended. By ‘he’, I mean the both of them.
            Lucas said goodbye, Skyler did too, and Lucas began heading back to his Government class. He passed a locker bay, and as he was passing through the second one, he heard a bunch of pencils fall straight to the ground. He looked to the right where a girl said “SHIT!” to herself.
            This was how he met Caprice.
            Lucas walked over to her and kneeled down to help her out. He picked up, she picked up half. PLEASE NOTE: This was the only time they EVER met halfway on ANYTHING. She said her thanks, he smiled and nodded his head.
            “You look like a new face.” Caprice said.
            “Yeah, I just moved here from Portland.”
            “Portland?! I used to live there!”
            “Wow, small world. When did you move here?”
            “When I was five or six.”
            Caprice had red hair and brown eyes. She was constantly called a ginger for a long time, although she didn’t have the excessive amount of freckles to be one. She was extremely quiet for the most part; she had few friends and for some reason, she saw something in Lucas that day.
            So, to cut the story short, Caprice smashed Lucas’ heart with a hammer, and by saying that, I’m saying it nicely. Lucas loved her, she never loved him. Lucas would walk a thousand miles to see her; she couldn’t walk to the end of her sidewalk.
            But strangely enough, this was Caprice’s true idea of a relationship. Something happened to her in the past that closed her shut that she never told anyone. A relationship to her was only talking a bit to check up, to hang out once only every couple of weeks, and to have minimal physical relations. She liked to TALK about sex, but that’s about it.
            This pissed Lucas off royally. Lucas wanted to be as close to her as possible, but that wasn’t her. Lucas and Caprice were like two magnets attempting to connect the wrong way. When they got too close, one pushed the other away. In order for them to actually connect, one would have to flip, but neither of them were willing to flip, ever.
            The break-up was brutal, too. I'd tell you what happened, but Lucas doesn't like to speak of it, and he probably wouldn't be comfortable with me telling anyone.
            It was about a year ago today. “No,” Lucas would probably say, “It is EXACTLY a year ago today.” He opened up that dream book and looked at the last dream he had, which was the night after the break up. He wrote,




“I dreamt I was tied to a chair tonight.”



            Lucas dreamt he was tied to a chair. The room was pitch black except for the light right above him, that lit him just enough to see the rope around him. He felt duct tape across his mouth that stopped him from speaking, of course. A door opened and a bright light flashed, all he could see in the light was a silhouette figure.
            This black figure walked up to him, and surely enough, it was Caprice.  She didn’t say a single word, but she smacked him right across the face. He whimpered, and she continued to do it repeatedly. Hitting him, kicking him… It was just a dream of pure torture.




            “I guess it just symbolized that being with her was torture.” He had written. He stopped reading and proceeded to write in the dream he had last night, the first dream in a long time. He jumped in the shower and used the shampoo he had stolen from a hotel the week before. Lucas wasn’t the richest person on the planet; he was saving up to go to college. When he was done he put on his green work shirt that had a little emblem of a gas pump that said “Denzel’s Diesel”.
            Lucas grabbed a bowl of Lucky Charms (he was running out), and watched SpongeBob on his little boob tube. He walked to Denzel’s Diesel and clocked in for work, five minutes early as always. He bought a cup of gas station coffee. It didn’t taste disgusting anymore, he got used to it a while back. His job was only a two minute walk from his studio apartment.
            Throughout the day, Lucas had a bored and discontent look upon his face. He didn’t do too much; it was a slow day He finished his shift and walked home. Thank GOD his job was so close by; he couldn’t afford a car with all the saving he was doing. He went home and called Skyler until he needed to go to sleep. They chatted about the same thing as always; their memories together and what’s new with their lives (Of course Lucas never had much to say during that part of the conversation).
            Lucas laid in bed, curled to his right side, and fell asleep almost instantly.
           


             Lucas opened his eyes to see rain. He was shivering cold because of it. (Lucas had left his window open.) There were branches above him full of orange and pink leaves that protected him from the rain.
            “Everything’s going to be okay. I bet he didn’t mean to.” Lucas said. He had no idea why he had just said that until he looked to his right, to see a little boy sitting, facing away from him.
            He had been here before.
            This was a memory.
            “Yes he did… Yes he did.” The kid said back to him. Lucas could hear sniffles coming from him. The kid turned around and stared at Lucas. His face was entirely black, as if it had been scribbled out in pen. “YES HE DID. HE FUCKING DID.” The kid said.
            “Okay… Sorry.”
            Lucas stared off into the rain and saw a girl walking. Her face was covered in her black hair. The rain was drenching her. Lucas stood up and screamed at her.
            “THE RAIN WILL PASS SOON! COME SIT UNDER THE TREE WITH US FOR A WHILE!” She looked over and began to walk over. His dream girl wore tight skinny blue jeans and a big jacket with a hood of fur.
           
His clock said the time was 6:59, just a minute before he was supposed to wake.
            The girl sat next to him and right as he attempts to get a glance of her face-
           
His alarm went off.
           


             Lucas gets in the shower, throws on the green shirt, and eats another bowl of Lucky Charms. He watches a show he is unfamiliar with instead of seeing SpongeBob. The boy in the show says, “Astrid, don’t leave me. I am happiest when I am with you. I love you so much, you are everything I want and need in a girl!” Lucas flipped the channel to SpongeBob. He wasn’t the biggest fan of teenage drama shows…
            Lucas brushed his teeth for the first time in a few days (Oh the joy of living alone and not having to impress anyone) and headed out the door. Halfway through his commute, his phone rang. He knew it was Skyler, he was the only one that called him anymore. His parents wouldn’t even return his calls.
            “Hey, Skyler!”
            “This isn’t Skyler.” A woman’s voice said. He checked the number, and his mouth dropped. It was the number he swore he would forget… Caprice’s number.
            “…Hello?” Caprice said.
            “Hi.”
            “How have you been, Luke?”
            “Alright.” Silence occurred. Neither of them spoke, and it caused both of them to feel quite awkward.
            “This is where you ask how I am…” She says.
            “Oh, is that how a conversation is engaged? Why did you call me?” He asked.
            “Wow, you haven’t changed one bit. I just called because yesterday was somewhat special for us.”
            “Oh, you mean the day where you ruined my life?”
            “If by that you mean our mutual break up, then yes.”
            “MUTUAL?!?!?” He screamed in the phone.
            “I really called because I moved back to Portland for school. I remember how we used to talk a lot about this town. I kinda want to see you.” And there it was; the shred of truth Lucas had waited so long to hear. He KNEW she had feeling for him somewhere in that black heart of hers. He thought moving back to Portland would be so much better for him. He said goodbye to her.
            That day, Lucas called himself in for work and quit. He walked to his bank, and made the choice to take out all of his money to go to college. He saved up $35,000 over the last two years, and he didn’t feel he was making a mistake by taking all of this out. He went home that night and packed everything he had. He laid in his apartment one last time after making a bowl of noodles, and closed his eyes.



            Lucas, once again, was under a tree.
            “YES HE DID. HE FUCKING DID.” The kid yelled. Lucas apologized once again, and then looked out into the rain, into the cold, to see the mystery girl.
            “THE RAIN WILL PASS SOON! COME SIT UNDER THE TREE WITH US FOR A WHILE!” He screamed at the girl, whose face was covered in her black hair. She again began to walk over in the same outfit. She approached the tree and sat next to Lucas. He looked over at her, and she turned to him. She was magnificent. She had hazel eyes that shined brightest in the pouring rain. In her hair she had a small blonde streak, and she wore minimal makeup; just the way Lucas liked it.
            This was Luca’s ideal girl. He stared at her for what seemed like forever, and then the clouds began to go away. The sun came out, and it stopped the rain. The day became almost as beautiful as the mystery girl, who was playing the piano in his earlier dream.
            “Who are you?” He asks.
            “I’m Astrid.” She giggles.
            “Will I ever see you again?” He asked. She stood up and began to leave.
            “You’ll find me.” She smiles.
           
Lucas woke up.



            “It’s for Skyler,” Lucas was staring at himself in the mirror. “Caprice can go die. This isn’t for her, it’s for Skyler.” Lucas’ day consisted of brushing his teeth, and checking in a room for a hotel in Portland. This was all at about five in the morning. By six, he had his U-Haul truck all packed up and ready to go.
            He drove for twenty whole hours, buying shit coffee along the way at multiple Denzel’s Diesels. He didn’t stop at all for those twenty hours to sleep, just to fill up his tank or pee(drain his tank). Truth be told, Lucas enjoyed driving, and he had purchased a bunch of CD’s to help him on his journey.
            Lucas arrived at the Portland Hotel an hour earlier than he expected, but it was still at one in the morning. He got into his room and crashed almost instantly; he dropped his bags on the floor and slammed his face on the fantastically comfortable bed.
            Lucas was home, but not for the right reasons.
            Lucas didn’t dream that night.
            He conveniently picked the hotel closest to Skyler’s house; it was only a ten minute walk. As soon as Lucas got up, he showered and walked to Skyler’s house. On the way there, he came across a Denzel’s Diesel, and applied for work, giving his cell phone as his primary number.
            He got to his friend’s house, thinking of all the memories the two of them have shared. Skyler and Lucas have been friends since the third grade. In fact, before he stopped dreaming entirely, Lucas dreamt of the first time they met.



            Lucas was sitting with his mother, father, and little sister. They were watching a movie that most parents would feel uncomfortable with if their little children were watching it, but whatever, it was only The Matrix.
            “Lukey, let’s go outside!” His little sister requested. He continued to watch the movie seeing as he was so interested in it (well, not really, he just loathed his little sister).
            “Lucas, go outside with your sister.” His father demanded.
            “FINE!” Lucas was known for his temper tantrums.
            He ran outside and waited for his little sister to come out, but she always took forever putting on her shoes and picking out her outfit. He sat at the curb for a good few minutes. Lucas and his family shared a big house at the bottom of a hill, quite a steep one, in fact. He put his hands up to his face due to sheer boredom.
            Just then, a basketball rolled down past him extremely fast. Lucas chased the ball. He got to it and began to run back up the hill to return the ball to its rightful owner. He passed three houses up the hill until he found a basketball hoop above a house’s garage. Lucas didn’t see anyone outside, so he ran up the stairs to the porch where he dropped it off. Lucas began to walk back down to his house. He reached the end of the driveway, where a voice behind him said, “HEY, WAIT!”



            Skyler’s house looked older than it did back then to him. A basketball laid on the front yard, it was the same they played with that first day and every day after. Lucas grabbed it, and began shooting it in the hoop. He did this for a good ten minutes until the blinds from the window above were pulled up.
            Skyler didn’t believe his eyes, and neither did Lucas.
            Skyler ran all the way down to his front porch, jumped down that, and tackled Lucas with a gigantic bear hug.
            That day consisted of Lucas and Skyler catching up (which didn’t take that long) and making plans for the night. Lucas decided he just wanted to go home for the night.
            “I just started dreaming again.” Lucas mentioned.
            “Really? How did you manage that?” Skyler asked.”
            “I don’t know, it just started again a few nights ago.”
            “Oh, the one year anniversary, I’m assuming?”
            “Yep.”
            “I thought so. Good dreams or nightmares?”
            “I’m not sure what to think of them.”
            “So how about you lucid dream?”
            “How about I what..?”
            “Lucid dream. It’s where you know you’re sleeping. It allows you to let you do what you wanna do, have people say what you want them to say… Works great if you want to have a sex dream, you get to pick who you’re screwing.” It wouldn’t be Skyler if he didn’t turn everything he talked about into sex.
            “Well,” Lucas said, “How do I do it?”
            “I said before, you need to realize you’re sleeping.”
            “Uh-huh…”
            “So lie directly on your back, because that’s when it’s harder to sleep. You’ll slowly fall into it…”
            “It being…”
            “I call it Lucidity. You’ll slowly fall into lucidity, but at the same time you’ll be right in between sleep and being awake.”
            “So what do I do in the dream?”
            “In lucidity, you’ll probably realize you’re still in bed. Get up, and try to flip on your light or look in the mirror. Your lights won’t work; you won’t be able to see your reflection.”
            “That’s sick!” Lucas exclaimed.
            “Then just do whatever the hell you want!” Skyler said.
            Lucas was eager to try it, so he said goodbye for the night. He ran to the hotel, and into his room. When he checked his clock, it was only 4PM, so he killed his time ordering in pizza and watching TV. His day finally came to a close, and he turned off his television.
            Lucas laid staring at the ceiling and slowly closed his eyes. His body wanted him to transition to his left or right side, but he didn’t. Laying there made him more and more uncomfortable, but he got used to it. He slowly became extremely tired.
            Have you ever had a time during a school morning where you had to wake up, so you dream you get dressed and make yourself breakfast? It feels so real; your mind takes over and makes your thoughts so vivid… But then you wake up and FUCK. You’re late to school.
            Lucas slowly began to fall into lucidity and got up out of his bed in his dream. He was in his hotel room, and he walked towards the television. He pressed the ON button, but no luck, it didn’t turn on. He then realized, he wasn’t awake. This wasn’t real. He walked to the wall and touched it, but his fingers slipped through.
            He then pushed his whole hands into the wall. The wall made waves as if it were made out of rubber or water. The hotel hall was so long on the outside of the room. Lucas’ arms, legs, and torso all went through the wall, and the hall was empty and
cold. His face peered through and looked to his left. He made Astrid appear at the end of the hall, and he walked over to her. The lights were off, the only light came from the doors to the outside at each end.
            “Astrid!” He exclaimed, happy to see her once again.
            “You found me.” She said back. Right as he began to start a conversation with her, he slo
wly began to realize he was just talking in his sleep. This new idea of lucidity was so fascinating to him. Lucas knew that this would be good for him; it was the first time he smiled to himself in a long time.
            Suddenly the hotel room’s door opened, and Skyler walked inside.
            “What the hell? How’d you get in here?” Lucas asked.
            “Apparently we look a lot alike. The girl in front thought I was you. Hey, I met someone on the walk here… Come in, come see him.”
            Before she walked in, Lucas KNEW who it was.
            The REAL reason he was here.
            “Hey, Lukey.” Caprice said. Lucas was naked under his blankets. He just stared at her.
            “It’s nice to see you too.” She said. Caprice’s sarcasm at its best.
            “Hey, uh… Lucas, why don’t we go eat up at the front? They’ve got cereal and coffee. What say we go out drinking tonight?” Skyler suggested. It didn’t exactly sound like a bad idea.
            “We’re 19.” Lucas remembered.
            “My friend’s got the hook-up. We’ll just go to his house; it’s not terribly far from here. Caprice can come with us!”
            “Ehh… Sure.” Lucas didn’t want to be rude.
            The gang went to eat breakfast up front, where they shared some pretty awkward conversation (only Lucas and Skyler were talking, Lucas did that on purpose), and whenever Caprice did speak, she only complimented and flirted with Lucas. She usually only did this when she felt Lucas was moving on.
            “Say, you just came along a shitload of dough, right?” Skyler asked, already knowing the answer. Caprice’s eyes lit right up, but that wasn’t exactly a surprise.
            “Yeah? I’m not buying you any weed.”
            Skyler chuckled. “I’m not in the eighth grade anymore, buddy. Weed got old. I meant maybe you should buy some snacks for the night.” He grabbed a napkin and started writing down directions to the party, and gave them to Lucas.
            “I’m headed out,” Skyler said. “I’ve got a job to go to. Caprice, you want a ride home?”
            “Um, actually, I’d rather stay with-“
            “Yes, take her home please.” Lucas interrupted.
            Caprice had a discontent/pissed off look, but went with Skyler. Lucas showered up and walked to Denzel’s Diesel to buy some chips and verify his application, killing two birds with one stone. He grabbed all the stuff, and passed a girl picking out chocolate. She was kneeled down. He accidentally dropped a bag of chips; it hit the girl in the head. She handed it back up to Lucas without looking. She was a very skinny girl… She wore nice tight jeans and had long black hair.
            “Picking chocolate out, are we?” Lucas said, attempting to make conversation.
            “You found me.” Astrid said back.
           
“You caught me.” This girl said back. She looked up, and looked exactly like his dream girl.
            He must have been dreaming.
            “This must not be real.” He told himself.
            The cashier helped Lucas out, and told him he was hired. Lucas told him he could start working tomorrow. Lucas grabbed his bag and turned around to the girl.
            “I’m Lucas.” He said.
            “I’m Astrid.” She said back. She smiled and gave him a slip of paper, which he found out contained her number as he walked back to the hotel.
            That night, Lucas brought the grocery bags to the house he was instructed to go to. Caprice sat on the curb, as if she was waiting for him.
            “Hey, Caprice.” He said.
            “Hey, I got you a drink to start your night!” This was Lucas’ fork in the road. Inside of this cup was hard, HARD liquor. This was part of Caprice’s plan to get back with Lucas. He would be so drunk that it wouldn’t have taken Caprice very much convincing to have Lucas take her back to the hotel room so they could have sex.
            He took the drink.
            He chugged the drink.
            “Buddy!” Skyler yelled. He, too, was holding a red cup of disaster.
            “Hey.” Lucas burped. The rest of the night was extremely blurry to Lucas, there were so many strange things going on.
·         He saw a bunch of old friends.
·         He saw Skyler dance on at least five girls.
·         He saw Skyler get slapped by three other girls who saw him dancing with others.
·         He saw Caprice run her hand up his leg to his crotch.
·         He felt an erection coming on.
·         He felt tongue action with Caprice.
            Caprice’s plan was working out perfectly; she was sober as a bird. Skyler was wasted…
            “Want to go home, Lukey?” Caprice asked.
            “…Sure…” Lucas said back.
            This was the fork. He could’ve stayed sober. They walked to the hotel, where Caprice was holding Lucas up since he couldn’t walk straight. He had a massive erection showing through his pants. Caprice walked him to the door, while Skyler walked himself to his car. Lucas grabbed the card to get in, while Skyler put his keys in the ignition. Lucas and Caprice went inside around ten o’ clock, and Caprice began to tear her clothes off.
            “I…Need… To shower…” Lucas said to himself. He stumbled into the bathroom unconsciously and locked the door behind him. Caprice tried to come in, which aggravated her. He turned the shower on and stepped right in without taking off his clothes. The water wasn’t even warm. He passed out, while Caprice slammed on the door repeatedly.
            Meanwhile, Skyler’s radio played “Father Of Mine” by Everclear, and began to sing along.
            It was raining. Lucas was in a large field, full of tall hills. He looked down at his feet, to see he was wearing Buzz Lightyear shoes. He began walking, and had no control over the direction he was walking.
            This was a memory.
            He went to the top of the biggest hill, and saw a tree that would protect him from the rain. He ran to it.
           
“Father of mine, tell me where have you been? I just closed my eyes, my whole world disappeared.”
            Lucas sat down and saw that a kid was already under the tree.
           
There was a pool two blocks ahead of Skyler. He put his head on the steering wheel, and fell asleep, still driving. Tears were falling down from his face. He opened the driver window without realizing it.
            The kid was sitting with his face buried in his knees, crying. Lucas sat next to him, the kid turned away. “Everything’s going to be okay,” Lucas said. “I bet he didn’t mean to.”
           
Skyler slowly turned off the road, crashing into the fence protecting the pool.
            “Yes he did… Yes he did…” The kid said to himself.
           
Skyler’s car went down into the pool. Everyone noticed it, people started to run to the scene.
            “YES HE DID. YES HE FUCKING DID.” Skyler screamed and looked at Lucas. He had a black eye and a bloody nose. Someone had struck him.

To be continued.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is good. Liked it. Like what you did with the different colors.